Why I Have Many Backpacks Yet Only Have One Back!

Taking a rest at Lake Hogan, Valley Springs, CA

What is it with me and backpacks? The one pictured in the photo above is now a few months old and came from Gossamer Gear. I purchased it during a Labor Day sale. Did I need another pack? No! My main pack is an Osprey Skimmer 30, also purchased last year during a sale. Both packs are what is termed a "daypack" and they each serve different purposes for me. (In the interest of full disclosure, I also own a smaller hydration pack, an 18 liter child's pack from REI and three backpack "purses" from Dakine.)  In my quest for the perfect pack, I have often felt like Cinderalla with a mild case of OCD!

Why all of the packs then? I think the reason has to do with a question that came up for me recently after a few discussions I had with other members of my hiking group. When I am trying to sort something out, I tend to ask other people questions so that I can maybe find an answer myself. Though I was initially wondering about my own love of backpacks, I started out asking people in general why they like to hike. I began by asking a couple of my fellow hikers what was up with this hiking business, why do they like to do it. I also looked at the personal profiles of people in my Meetup hiking group thinking that I would learn something from other people's answers to questions about why they hike. What I gathered is that although the answers are varied, there are some common denominators. People love the outdoors, they like communing with nature and getting exercise. There are places that they want to visit and hiking is also a physical challenge for them. All these reasons are great but I realized that they aren't precisely my reasons. The answers didn't really speak to my love of walking around with a backpack.  It occurred to me then that my initial question about why people like to hike might be the wrong question to ask. It would be better to consider what motivates me to get outside and take a walk with my heavy pack? Why do I love packing up that bag so much and buying backpacks in general?

The answer is simple and is tied to something from my childhood.  After some thinking about hiking and backpacks, I was lead to a memory I have of spending time at my grandma's house. It was a surprise to me to recall that as a kid I had enjoyed making backpacks!  Memories of sewing backpacks out of scraps from my grandma's fabric stash came right back to me as I thought about why I love my current set of backpacks. I used to get the fabric and cut it, use a simple running stitch to close it up on the sides, make the straps, and then pack the thing with a sandwich (Wonder bread with butter and homemade plum jam). I would then head out to the backyard to walk around and eat my lunch. It's pure nostalgia for me to think of warm sunny days in her garden, the smell of onions and dirt, and all of the various trees that my grandma had in her yard. And of course, I had my pack! 

Nowadays of course, I buy my packs and agonize over all of the details and the prices. Is it the "right" pack, etc. Packing the thing is also a challenge sometimes. The "Ten Essentials" must be included!  I also include items for my own comfort much as a woman or man might do with organizing their own purse or other type of bag.  My pack has room for layers of clothing, a hydration bladder, a first aid kit and extra socks. I could even stash some shoes inside if needed. And of course, there is food! I still love a good sandwich (though the choice now is of some vegan variety rather than butter and jam) and snacks to keep my energy level up. There is just something about setting out for the morning or day with everything that I need close by and strapped to my back. Generally, my hands are unencumbered (except for a hiking pole) and I just have to follow the trail. I am free to touch the dirt, to fondle lovingly non-poisonous leaves, and to dip my hands in any cool water that appears.  It's often just as simple as that. 

And that is what I love about having a day pack. Or several day packs. They produce a wonderful feeling of simplicity if done right and well. If I can push past my anxiety and all of the other ridiculousness, I can get to the pure joy of having a bag filled with goodies strapped to my back for just a few hours. The packs represent a kind of freedom and carefree feeling to me. A feeling of self sustainability and the notion that for a few hours, I can simply rely on myself. It's rather nice to be an adult yet have a kind of childlike feeling when I set off. It's a feeling that I look forward to each time I pack my bag. And it's also the reason I recommend buying a pack (any pack will do!) and walking around with it on your back, even if for just a little while. Oh, to be young again!

Libby

PS-Is there something that you do now or that you own which reminds you happily of your childhood in some way? Let me know in your comments!